Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Declassified: Keep That Trash Around

Good morning Ruineers!

We're back today with more tips for ruining your personal life, career, and the lives of everyone around you with hints and yips from the OSS Simple Sabotage Field Manual.

Today's Tip: Keep That Trash Around

Hey! What are you doing, taking that trash out to the bin? Those receipts could be laying on your floor or shoved into corners! That burger wrapper could be tossed into the back seat of your car! That used tissue could be jammed in a jacket pocket! Use your head, dummy !

When you throw paper rubbish in the trash, you're removing a perfectly good fire hazard. Without a nice pile of paper and cardboard to chow down on, Mr. Fire is going to be in for a hungry evening. Let's "pitch in" and give him something to snack on.

And don't forget - random trash strewn around your living area will also make it harder to find things you actually want. That's a double-whammy opportunity you're letting go to the waste bin!

This goes for food scraps too. Leave your food scraps rotting in the sink (or at least in an inside trash can) for as long as possible. The odor will offend human guests, but you'll have plenty of flies, roaches, and rats to keep you company. And speaking of the sink, that's a great place to keep those dishes piled up. Tell yourself you're just going to let them soak a little and walk away. There's nothing easier than forgetting a job you don't want to do!

And remember, this works in the office and the factory too. Pile those fire hazards high, leave dirty dishes in shared sinks, and rotting food in refrigerators too. Without your contribution, an important workplace conflict opportunity will just slip on by!

Above all, remember the Rev's golden rule: it's not hoarding if you're definitely going to use it later.

That's all for today, Ruineers!

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