Tuesday, January 31, 2017

Declassified: Maintenance Tomorrow

Good morning, Ruineers!

Today we'll be talking about the exciting World of Tomorrow - doing it tomorrow! As always, this Sci-Fi future stuff comes from the cutting-edge OSS Simple Sabotage Field Manual.

Today's Tip: Maintenance Tomorrow

It's said that Haste makes waste, but Mr. Haste sure could learn a lot from Negligence. Old Haste does good work most of the time, but there's still one mistake he'll make every time: he'll do today jobs that should be done tomorrow.

There's nothing wrong with Mr. Haste when he's ignoring safety procedures or turning a blind eye to shoddy work, but when it comes to maintenance work, it's time to slow down, Hot Shot!

Is one of your tools making an odd sound? Don't fix it now, put it off till tomorrow. Maybe it's a harmless sound, but if it's a serious problem, it can be made twice as bad by ignoring it. Now that's using your head! This goes double for cars, trucks, and expensive household appliances. Don't get hasty and fix that leaking dishwasher right away - let it leak a little longer and do some real water damage to the walls and floor.

Keep your tools nice and dull too - there's nothing worse than a sharp punch or file for turning out shoddy work. And don't forget to put off calibration checks on instruments - billions of dollars go unwasted every year due to properly calibrated tools. Even a small difference in torque can ruin thousands of dollars of product - now that's what I call "pitching in!"

With just a little extra time spent waiting, those routine repairs can become major headaches. And hey - if tomorrow is good, next week is even better!

Tuesday, January 24, 2017

Declassified: Clean Little, Clean Later

Good morning, Ruineers!

Welcome to today's lesson on being the waste you want to see in the world, courtesy of our friendly spooks at the OSS.

Today's Tip: Clean Little, Clean Later

Ruineers, I'll be the first to admit it's not easy to live surrounded by filth all the time. But it also wasn't easy to put a man on the Moon or to punch that Hitler fella all the way back to Berlin. So put down that sponge and pick up that remote, soldier; you've got a duty to your Uncle Sam.

Let's come together to pour those cleaning material down the drain (better yet, dump them in your yard), put that vacuum cleaner back in the closet, and find the strength to balance that stack of plates in the sink just a little bit higher.

And this doesn't just go for the house, soldier, it goes for you! Wear that dirty shirt again tomorrow. Throw those underpants on the floor instead of in the washing machine. And don't neglect to neglect your personal hygiene either: the road to Health is paved with soap and toothpaste.

This is important in the home, but it's even more important at work. Factories are filled with expensive equipment that can be damaged or even destroyed by the humble metal shaving or spec of sawdust. And what's the point in leaving the lids off chemicals if there's no dirt getting kicked into the air? So leave that broom on the rack, Jack! Today's cleaning can prevent tomorrow's product failure or even stop a costly line stoppage.

You office workers don't have as many opportunities to stop the line with poor cleaning habits, but you can still lead the way with attitude. "Pitch in" by making the cleaning staff's job twice as hard. Eat at your desk - really get those crumbs into the keyboard. Put that coffee cup as close to the edge as possible, or even on top of an expensive computer. Leave trash laying around instead of picking up after yourself. Cultivate the attitude that cleaning is for the "little people"; dirty work is for suckers. Trust me, those little people will pick up on it quick!

That's all for today, Ruineers. You've done well today - make sure to reward yourself by Cleaning Later!

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Declassified: Keep That Trash Around

Good morning Ruineers!

We're back today with more tips for ruining your personal life, career, and the lives of everyone around you with hints and yips from the OSS Simple Sabotage Field Manual.

Today's Tip: Keep That Trash Around

Hey! What are you doing, taking that trash out to the bin? Those receipts could be laying on your floor or shoved into corners! That burger wrapper could be tossed into the back seat of your car! That used tissue could be jammed in a jacket pocket! Use your head, dummy !

When you throw paper rubbish in the trash, you're removing a perfectly good fire hazard. Without a nice pile of paper and cardboard to chow down on, Mr. Fire is going to be in for a hungry evening. Let's "pitch in" and give him something to snack on.

And don't forget - random trash strewn around your living area will also make it harder to find things you actually want. That's a double-whammy opportunity you're letting go to the waste bin!

This goes for food scraps too. Leave your food scraps rotting in the sink (or at least in an inside trash can) for as long as possible. The odor will offend human guests, but you'll have plenty of flies, roaches, and rats to keep you company. And speaking of the sink, that's a great place to keep those dishes piled up. Tell yourself you're just going to let them soak a little and walk away. There's nothing easier than forgetting a job you don't want to do!

And remember, this works in the office and the factory too. Pile those fire hazards high, leave dirty dishes in shared sinks, and rotting food in refrigerators too. Without your contribution, an important workplace conflict opportunity will just slip on by!

Above all, remember the Rev's golden rule: it's not hoarding if you're definitely going to use it later.

That's all for today, Ruineers!

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

The Silence of the Puppies

This Rabid Puppies 2017 post on Vox Popoli, calling for what amounts to a withdrawal of forces (if you're already registered, vote; if not, don't register) from the Hugos, racked up a measly 36 comments.

I don't know what's happening, but it surely cannot be good for the enemies of the Puppies. More as it develops.

Update (1/12/17)

Driving home yesterday, my brain woke up and figured it out.

1). The first rule of Vox Day is that Vox Day says what he's going to do, and then does it.

I would highly doubt that there's some sort of secret Rabid buildup going on. The Vox Popoli announcement is legit. Kickers, take a breath. Just one.

2). Even without EPH, it makes sense to switch targets.

 This is basic OODA/terrorism/guerrilla warfare stuff. Never hit where they expect you to hit, because then they can harden defenses and repel more effectively. Spread out and hit soft targets, thus stretching defensive resources, thus weakening the real targets' ability to defend themselves.

In other words, it makes sense to switch targets now that the Kickers are used to getting hit at the Hugos.

Btw - I'm certain that the Puppies could make life Hell at the Hugos this year, even under EPH. The question is, "is there a better use for those resources?"

3). The Hugos are a tainted brand (Space. Raptor. Butt. Invasion.). 

Maybe it's still an ultimate goal for the Puppies, as a final proof of victory, but it offers little tactical value. Particularly when the Dragon Awards loom like an unplucked jewel over the horizon.

4). This is a chance to neutralize the Kickers without fighting them.

Now that the Rabids are effectively withdrawing from the Hugos, the Kickers are going to feel a tremendous sense of relief, happiness, gloating, and calm. The demons what pissed in their Cheerios since 2013 are gone! EPH worked! 2016 is over! Let freedom ring, baby!

So the withdrawal trick isn't to drop defenses at the Hugos. The trick is to dangle a psychological carrot - just claim victory and retreat into the Hugos and a stick - do you really want to keep fighting this fight? - and let the enemy's will to fight collapse. Meanwhile, your forces hit a completely different, undefended, more valuable target. Good stuff.

5). Memetic warfare

This is spittballing, but I expect something along the lines of "Dragon Award winners sell more books than Hugo winners" / "Dragon Award winners make more money than Hugo winners" to make the rounds after it's too late for the Kickers to marshal effective opposition at Dragoncon.

6). Kickers will read this post, deny that they're going to declare victory and retreat into the Hugos safe space, then retreat into the Hugos safe space and declare victory.

Then, in a surprisingly short amount of time, they'll start whining about how no one cares about the Hugos anymore.

And they still, still, still won't see why that's funny.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Declassified: Get Sloppy and Stay Sloppy

Good morning, Ruineers!

Today we're going to start looking at some tips and tricks for Ruining your life, Wasting your time and Money, and Destroying your company from the OSS Simple Sabotage Field Manual. Your Uncle Sam uses these same techniques to wear down the Krauts, Japs, and Ruskies overseas, so they're field tested for ruining your life here in the Good Old US of A.

Today's Tip: Get Sloppy and Stay Sloppy

Here's a neat little trick for around the house! Whenever you're working on a project, makes sure to leave your tools where they lay once you're done with them - tables and counters are great for this. When you need to use that table later, just shove those tools out of the way. Out of sight is out of mind!

And if leaving tools on the table is good, leaving them outside or under a sink where they can rust up is just dandy. Just make sure to never ever put them back where they belong, and you'll be on your way to Staying Sloppy! Tools that are easy to find and in good condition are a terrible setback on your road to a ruined life.

Staying sloppy doesn't stop with tools, either. Remember to also stay sloppy with your personal finances. Ignorance is bliss, and that goes double for your income, savings, and expenses. Knowing how much money you have going in and going out can lead to saving, delaying purchases, or cutting down on wasteful spending. Jeepers!

And there's no better place to be sloppy than the office. A messy desk is the perfect place to lose important paper and assignments. Once they're buried under a fine carpet of old, unfiled memos, you're on the fast track to face time with the boss, as he chews you out good.

This goes double for the factory floor. A tool in its proper place is a tool that can easily be used to do work. But there's fat chance of that when your socket wrench is jammed on a shelf somewhere! Then it's just a short trip to your neighbor's workbench for some "five-fingered shopping." It's good to be sloppy for yourself, but it's better to be sloppy with everyone's property.

So add a little sloppiness into your attitude and surroundings today - it's a great first step on the road to ruin.

That's all for today, Ruineers!

Monday, January 9, 2017

State of the Blog: 01/09/17

1). First, thanks to John and Zaklog for posting workarounds for the Kindle copy limit that slowed down the Rules for Radicals series. Unfortunately, the job search is interfering with that series now anyway (along with some large projects at the current job - we're always feast or famine).

2). The job hunt is proceeding well - I had my first interview seven days into the search, which isn't a bad turnaround time. Got another today.

I'm thinking about doing a series on job hunting/resume writing/cover letter tips. It's something most of my friends still don't know how to do, no matter how many times I show them. Maybe a written series would work better? Worth thinking about.

3). As mentioned, the job search is taking up a lot of time. Starting tomorrow, I'm posting a series I tinkered around with a few months back, The working title was Declassified: Ruining your Life, Wasting your Time and Money, and Destroying Your Company. It's a tongue-in-cheek Self-Harm series based on  OSS Simple Sabotage Field Manual. I hope you enjoy not putting its advice into action.


-The Rev